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It's no secret that we'd been having some nighttime sleep issues with 7.5-month-old Audra. Her sleep timeline has looked something like this: Birth -1.5 months: [Swaddled with white noise]
I woke a very very sleepy tiny baby to feed her every 3 hours. She was falling asleep every minute and a half or 2 minutes while eating. Since I was barely keeping my eyes open as well, I decided to quit waking her.
1.5 months - 4 months: [Swaddled with white noise]
She slept completely through the night, 7:30pm-7:30am with zero wakings. It was AWESOME! During this time, people told us that she would eventually stop sleeping through the night, and Nic and I just chuckled and didn't quite believe it. Ha!!!
4 months - 7 months: [Swaddled with white noise]
HELL. (Just kidding.) But I did feel like a walking zombie. She was waking up multiple times a night. It started gradually, with one, then two, then three wakings, then I talked with her doctor and accidentally traumatized her, which only resulted in her not wanting to be put down EVER and not wanting to go to sleep EVER. When we got to Missouri for Christmas, the change of nighttime scenery seemed to do her some good, and she didn't mind being put down anymore. She still, however, woke multiple times a night. She rarely slept more than 3 hours at a time. We started utilizing the pacifier more (she wouldn't keep it in before, but seemed to have gotten the hang of it with age), which calmed her a bit. About a fourth of the time, we were able to give her the pacifier and pat her back to sleep without picking her up. I fed her when she could not be soothed. We came home from Missouri, and it was more of the same and then worse: waking every 3 or less hours, needing to eat multiple times during the night. And she also decided to stay awake for hours at a time, usually between 1:30 & 3:30 am. It was pure torture. I rocked her and laid her down just fine, but then she would wake right up. Or I'd pat her to sleep (finally!) in her crib, then I'd lay down in bed and 10 minutes later she'd be up. I don't know of many mid-night feelings that are worse than leaning over your baby's crib patting them in a half-asleep, zombie-like stupor just praying and praying AND PRAYING to God that He'll just give your baby a nice long peaceful sleep. Then finally, she would fall asleep (or so I thought, since she hadn't moved in what seemed like forever!). But like I said, 10 minutes later, she'd be awake. I mean AWAKE; alert, talking to me, smiling at me, as if that 30+ minutes we just spent putting her to sleep never happened. Sigh. Something had to give.
For the last two weeks: [Unswaddled with white noise]
Sleeping through the night, 7:30pm-7:30am with one or no night feedings; occasionally (about once or twice a night) we go in and comfort her, but only for about a minute (literally; until she settles), then we're back in bed ourselves. So many nights, I only wake up ONCE, for 5 MINUTES and then I'm back in bed. This post is about how we got from that hell above to this point.
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There were multiple things we wanted to implement, and we were just waiting until after the Missouri trip to put them in place. We wanted to 1) get rid of the swaddle, 2) start on solid foods, 3) change her daytime nap schedule, and 4) start sleep training so she'd put herself to sleep. We pretty much started them all simultaneously, so it's hard to say if any ONE thing made her sleep like she's sleeping now. It was most likely a combination of all of these. So here's how we did it.GETTING RID OF THE SWADDLE:
We've always followed The Happiest Baby on the Block's advice, and IT WORKED. Dr. Karp says most babies have grown out of the startle reflex by around 6 months, and no longer need the swaddle. Plus, Audra had been fighting the swaddle for a while, and we couldn't keep pinning her arms down forever. Dr. Karp suggests starting by leaving one arm out of the swaddle, and when the baby does well with that, to leave both arms out and then do away with the swaddle all together. So we tried it. We left one arm out... and it went horribly. She wouldn't sleep. But that wasn't really anything different than before. So we decided to just try it cold turkey, and we put her in a sleep sack which allowed her arms to be free. And again, it went horribly. Not only was she not sleeping, she was getting distracted by her hands. So hear me here: the issue was not the startle reflex, or her needing the pressure around her body to feel safe. The issue was HER HANDS. Girl was (is) in exploration mode at all hours of the day, apparently even at night. When we laid her in her crib, no matter how drowsy or already asleep she was, when her little hands hit that crib, she started feeling. Her hand would spread out like a fan and draw in to a fist over and over, just touching her sheet. She would shoot her arm straight out to the side and feel her crib bumper. She would stretch her arm above her head and swing it down to her side like she was making half a snow angel in her crib. Up and down, up and down her arm would go, her little hand just feeling everything along the way. I would hold her arm still and pat her until she seemed to be asleep. When I finally let go (holding my breath usually), it started all over. Sigh. I was exhausted.
A friend told me about a thing call a Zipadee Zip that she used with her girls. Sounded interesting. At that point, I was willing to try ANYTHING! She was nice enough to let me borrow her Zipadee Zip... and SUCCESS! Audra kept her hands still, and slept without the swaddle! I fully believe it was due to the Zipadee Zip's design that allowed her to settle. Audra seemed really happy with the ability to move, and her little hands were contained so her brain could turn off. Of course, I had to get one for myself! This gives Audra so much room to move around, plus ensures that her little hands and feet stay warm, that I don't care if she sleeps in this thing until she outgrows their largest size. She truly quit squirming around (fighting the swaddle) once we got her in the Zippy. Awesome. Being still is good. If you're looking to start unswaddling, I definitely recommend you look into the Zipadee Zip. I was in correspondence with the owner/operator, and she always emailed me back the very same day. Extremely nice and helpful! Always a pleasure to do business with those who know how to treat their customers. :)
One mom said that her little guy didn't sleep through the night until they started on solids. Given the fact that Audra was wanting to eat so often in the night, I thought some extra calories during the day couldn't hurt. Plus, she's over 6 months anyway, it's TIME to start eating! So we gave her some solid (well, pureed) food. And not just a little. Once we knew she wasn't allergic, we LOADED HER UP! She eats 9 oz. a day (3 oz., 3x), and doesn't always act full when she's finished. That's in addition to me breast feeding her 5 times a day. We've found if we're unable to feed her one of those 3 times, she'll wake up during the night asking for food. If she does get all 3 meals, she usually sleeps through the night without needing to eat. YAY!!
I've always followed Audra's lead and let her set her schedule. When she acted sleepy, she went down for a nap. When she woke up, she ate. After that, she played. If we needed to go out and she fell asleep, then she fell asleep in her carseat. She had gotten herself into a schedule of basically napping around 9:30, noon, 2:30 and then down for the night at 6:30. Some sweet Facebook mama friends cued me in to the fact that Audra was probably sleeping too much during the day (resulting in that long stretch around 1:30 of being awake during the night). The No Cry Sleep Solution also said that babies around 6 months should only need 2 naps a day, about an hour each. I decided to start limiting her naps. Now, regardless of when she wakes up, I put her down around 10 or 10:30, then again around 2 or 2:30, then down for the night around 7:30. And now? We have no more long stretches of being awake at night! She definitely acts sleepy during the day before her nap, but she's able to hang in there until naptime without much fuss.
SLEEP TRAINING:
Our old nighttime habit was for me to nurse her to sleep, then lay her in bed very VERY ninja-like, so she wouldn't notice we were setting her down. When she woke up in the night, Nic or I would pick her up and rock her, or feed & rock her, again until she fell asleep. This obviously was a strain on our sleep, having to take the time to put her back down. Plus, we were setting her up for bad habits by not teaching her how and what it feels like to fall asleep in her bed.
NOW, we feed her then put her in her crib with her pacifier, and pat her for 30 seconds to a minute. Then we use a 4-3-2-1 sleep training method. I had read about the method some random place, and I really liked the sound of it. So we use this in our own modified version. Our version goes like this: 4 minutes of leaving Audra alone, followed by 30 seconds of comfort if she needs it [patting, rubbing back, etc.], 3 minutes of leaving her alone, 30 seconds of comfort, 2 minutes of alone, 30 seconds of comfort, 1 minute alone. Almost always, she puts herself to sleep within the first 4 minutes. Every now and then we have to go in and pat her for the first 30 seconds, but we've never had to go back in for comforting a second time. She's learned to calm down and go to sleep. We can tell if it's just not working, as in she's escalating her fusses rather than de-escalating. Our goal isn't total Cry It Out and just sitting there when our baby is really upset. Our goal is to let her know that she can fall asleep in her crib. She also needs to know that a little fussing isn't going to result in us picking her up and rocking her for 15 minutes. We don't want her to be scared, either; we want her to know we're there for her. We just want her to feel comfortable in her bed, and be able to put herself to sleep. So if she's escalated to the point that she's not going to calm down on her own, we go in and pick her up and rock her until she's calm again. But most often, she just fusses a little then goes to sleep. During night wakings, we do the same thing: wait 4 minutes from when she wakes up and starts making noise before we go in and comfort her for just 30 seconds or a minute. Usually, like at bedtime, she'll put herself to sleep within those 4 minutes and we never even have to get up. It has been a beautiful, beautiful thing. :)
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So we've all been getting a little more sleep around here. And Audra's been waking up with the BIGGEST smiles on her face! It's been pretty funny, actually. Nic and I will be talking, and she'll just be staring at us, smiling SO BIG, even though we weren't paying particular attention to her. A happy, well-rested baby means a happy, well-rested Mommy. I feel like the clouds have parted and the sun is shining through and things will only get better from here.
(My luck, I will have totally jinxed myself by writing this post. We'll see.) ;-)
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