Our Solutions to Sleep!

For you to understand how great it is for us to be where we are now, it's helpful for you to know where we came from.  

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It's no secret that we'd been having some nighttime sleep issues with 7.5-month-old Audra.  Her sleep timeline has looked something like this:
 
Birth -1.5 months:  [Swaddled with white noise]
I woke a very very sleepy tiny baby to feed her every 3 hours.  She was falling asleep every minute and a half or 2 minutes while eating.  Since I was barely keeping my eyes open as well, I decided to quit waking her. 

1.5 months - 4 months:  [Swaddled with white noise]
She slept completely through the night, 7:30pm-7:30am with zero wakings.  It was AWESOME! During this time, people told us that she would eventually stop sleeping through the night, and Nic and I just chuckled and didn't quite believe it.  Ha!!!

4 months - 7 months:  [Swaddled with white noise]
HELL.  (Just kidding.)  But I did feel like a walking zombie.  She was waking up multiple times a night.  It started gradually, with one, then two, then three wakings, then I talked with her doctor and accidentally traumatized her, which only resulted in her not wanting to be put down EVER and not wanting to go to sleep EVER.  When we got to Missouri for Christmas, the change of nighttime scenery seemed to do her some good, and she didn't mind being put down anymore.  She still, however, woke multiple times a night.  She rarely slept more than 3 hours at a time.  We started utilizing the pacifier more (she wouldn't keep it in before, but seemed to have gotten the hang of it with age), which calmed her a bit.  About a fourth of the time, we were able to give her the pacifier and pat her back to sleep without picking her up.  I fed her when she could not be soothed.  We came home from Missouri, and it was more of the same and then worse:  waking every 3 or less hours, needing to eat multiple times during the night.  And she also decided to stay awake for hours at a time, usually between 1:30 & 3:30 am.  It was pure torture.  I rocked her and laid her down just fine, but then she would wake right up.  Or I'd pat her to sleep (finally!) in her crib, then I'd lay down in bed and 10 minutes later she'd be up.  I don't know of many mid-night feelings that are worse than leaning over your baby's crib patting them in a half-asleep, zombie-like stupor just praying and praying AND PRAYING to God that He'll just give your baby a nice long peaceful sleep.  Then finally, she would fall asleep (or so I thought, since she hadn't moved in what seemed like forever!).  But like I said, 10 minutes later, she'd be awake. I mean AWAKE; alert, talking to me, smiling at me, as if that 30+ minutes we just spent putting her to sleep never happened.  Sigh.  Something had to give.

For the last two weeks: [Unswaddled with white noise]
Sleeping through the night, 7:30pm-7:30am with one or no night feedings; occasionally (about once or twice a night) we go in and comfort her, but only for about a minute (literally; until she settles), then we're back in bed ourselves. So many nights, I only wake up ONCE, for 5 MINUTES and then I'm back in bed.  This post is about how we got from that hell above to this point.

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There were multiple things we wanted to implement, and we were just waiting until after the Missouri trip to put them in place.  We wanted to 1) get rid of the swaddle, 2) start on solid foods, 3) change her daytime nap schedule, and 4) start sleep training so she'd put herself to sleep.  We pretty much started them all simultaneously, so it's hard to say if any ONE thing made her sleep like she's sleeping now.  It was most likely a combination of all of these.  So here's how we did it.

GETTING RID OF THE SWADDLE:
We've always followed The Happiest Baby on the Block's advice, and IT WORKED.  Dr. Karp says most babies have grown out of the startle reflex by around 6 months, and no longer need the swaddle.  Plus, Audra had been fighting the swaddle for a while, and we couldn't keep pinning her arms down forever.  Dr. Karp suggests starting by leaving one arm out of the swaddle, and when the baby does well with that, to leave both arms out and then do away with the swaddle all together.  So we tried it.  We left one arm out... and it went horribly.  She wouldn't sleep.  But that wasn't really anything different than before.  So we decided to just try it cold turkey, and we put her in a sleep sack which allowed her arms to be free.  And again, it went horribly.  Not only was she not sleeping, she was getting distracted by her hands.  So hear me here:  the issue was not the startle reflex, or her needing the pressure around her body to feel safe.  The issue was HER HANDS.  Girl was (is) in exploration mode at all hours of the day, apparently even at night.  When we laid her in her crib, no matter how drowsy or already asleep she was, when her little hands hit that crib, she started feeling.  Her hand would spread out like a fan and draw in to a fist over and over, just touching her sheet.  She would shoot her arm straight out to the side and feel her crib bumper.  She would stretch her arm above her head and swing it down to her side like she was making half a snow angel in her crib.  Up and down, up and down her arm would go, her little hand just feeling everything along the way.  I would hold her arm still and pat her until she seemed to be asleep.  When I finally let go (holding my breath usually), it started all over.  Sigh.  I was exhausted.    

A friend told me about a thing call a Zipadee Zip that she used with her girls.  Sounded interesting.  At that point, I was willing to try ANYTHING!  She was nice enough to let me borrow her Zipadee Zip... and SUCCESS!  Audra kept her hands still, and slept without the swaddle!  I fully believe it was due to the Zipadee Zip's design that allowed her to settle.  Audra seemed really happy with the ability to move, and her little hands were contained so her brain could turn off.  Of course, I had to get one for myself!  This gives Audra so much room to move around, plus ensures that her little hands and feet stay warm, that I don't care if she sleeps in this thing until she outgrows their largest size.  She truly quit squirming around (fighting the swaddle) once we got her in the Zippy.  Awesome.  Being still is good.  If you're looking to start unswaddling, I definitely recommend you look into the Zipadee Zip.  I was in correspondence with the owner/operator, and she always emailed me back the very same day.  Extremely nice and helpful!  Always a pleasure to do business with those who know how to treat their customers.  :)   

STARTING ON SOLIDS:
One mom said that her little guy didn't sleep through the night until they started on solids.  Given the fact that Audra was wanting to eat so often in the night, I thought some extra calories during the day couldn't hurt.  Plus, she's over 6 months anyway, it's TIME to start eating!  So we gave her some solid (well, pureed) food.  And not just a little.  Once we knew she wasn't allergic, we LOADED HER UP!  She eats 9 oz. a day (3 oz., 3x), and doesn't always act full when she's finished.  That's in addition to me breast feeding her 5 times a day.  We've found if we're unable to feed her one of those 3 times, she'll wake up during the night asking for food.  If she does get all 3 meals, she usually sleeps through the night without needing to eat. YAY!!

 

CHANGING HER DAYTIME NAP SCHEDULE:
I've always followed Audra's lead and let her set her schedule.  When she acted sleepy, she went down for a nap.  When she woke up, she ate.  After that, she played.  If we needed to go out and she fell asleep, then she fell asleep in her carseat.  She had gotten herself into a schedule of basically napping around 9:30, noon, 2:30 and then down for the night at 6:30.  Some sweet Facebook mama friends cued me in to the fact that Audra was probably sleeping too much during the day (resulting in that long stretch around 1:30 of being awake during the night).  The No Cry Sleep Solution also said that babies around 6 months should only need 2 naps a day, about an hour each.  I decided to start limiting her naps.  Now, regardless of when she wakes up, I put her down around 10 or 10:30, then again around 2 or 2:30, then down for the night around 7:30.  And now?  We have no more long stretches of being awake at night!  She definitely acts sleepy during the day before her nap, but she's able to hang in there until naptime without much fuss.
 
SLEEP TRAINING:
Our old nighttime habit was for me to nurse her to sleep, then lay her in bed very VERY ninja-like, so she wouldn't notice we were setting her down.  When she woke up in the night, Nic or I would pick her up and rock her, or feed & rock her, again until she fell asleep.  This obviously was a strain on our sleep, having to take the time to put her back down.  Plus, we were setting her up for bad habits by not teaching her how and what it feels like to fall asleep in her bed.  
 NOW, we feed her then put her in her crib with her pacifier, and pat her for 30 seconds to a minute.   Then we use a 4-3-2-1 sleep training method.  I had read about the method some random place, and I really liked the sound of it.  So we use this in our own modified version.  Our version goes like this: 4 minutes of leaving Audra alone, followed by 30 seconds of comfort if she needs it [patting, rubbing back, etc.], 3 minutes of leaving her alone, 30 seconds of comfort, 2 minutes of alone, 30 seconds of comfort, 1 minute alone.  Almost always, she puts herself to sleep within the first 4 minutes.  Every now and then we have to go in and pat her for the first 30 seconds, but we've never had to go back in for comforting a second time.  She's learned to calm down and go to sleep.  We can tell if it's just not working, as in she's escalating her fusses rather than de-escalating.  Our goal isn't total Cry It Out and just sitting there when our baby is really upset.  Our goal is to let her know that she can fall asleep in her crib.  She also needs to know that a little fussing isn't going to result in us picking her up and rocking her for 15 minutes.  We don't want her to be scared, either; we want her to know we're there for her.  We just want her to feel comfortable in her bed, and be able to put herself to sleep. So if she's escalated to the point that she's not going to calm down on her own, we go in and pick her up and rock her until she's calm again.  But most often, she just fusses a little then goes to sleep.  During night wakings, we do the same thing:  wait 4 minutes from when she wakes up and starts making noise before we go in and comfort her for just 30 seconds or a minute.  Usually, like at bedtime, she'll put herself to sleep within those 4 minutes and we never even have to get up.  It has been a beautiful, beautiful thing.  :) 

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So we've all been getting a little more sleep around here.  And Audra's been waking up with the BIGGEST smiles on her face!  It's been pretty funny, actually.  Nic and I will be talking, and she'll just be staring at us, smiling SO BIG, even though we weren't paying particular attention to her.  A happy, well-rested baby means a happy, well-rested Mommy.  I feel like the clouds have parted and the sun is shining through and things will only get better from here.

(My luck, I will have totally jinxed myself by writing this post.  We'll see.)  ;-)   

"Home" for the Holidays

Nic and I alternate holidays, namely Christmas, with our families.  Christmas 2012 was spent with my family in Missouri, and we were pumped since it was Audra's first Christmas.  And we were EXTRA pumped since my brother and Jessie (his wife) still hadn't had a chance to meet Audra, due to the distance, work schedules, travel expense, etc.  So within an hour of being home, the long-time-coming introduction to Uncle Brian and Aunt Jessie finally happened.  :)

 This last one is so HIM and also a typical goofy Audra face.  Quite perfect, if you ask me.

 Christmas Eve we all got dressed up and were happy to take Audra to her first Christmas church service.  Brian and Jessie attended church with her family.

 

We had a great time opening gifts on Christmas morning, and had a couple of awesomely lazy days just laying around the house and spending time with family.  I was pretty happy to be able to capture some precious moments on camera.  Like these:

Quality time with grandpa!

 And quality time with grandma!

The day after Christmas, we were able to have some family pictures taken.  :)

For whatever reason, every time Audra looked at my brother, she'd start crying!  It was hilarious and sad all at the same time.  She looked at him and starting crying during the shoot, so Jessie covered Brian's face to make her stop crying.  Quite awesome that the photographer caught that moment! 

We also got a special Christmas surprise!  Nic's family (parents, sister & her husband) drove up all the way from Texas to see us!  While still a long drive for them, it was still 10 hours of driving time less than if they'd driven to see us in Virginia.  It was great to see them, even if only for a few days!  I should add that Nic has a brother, too, but he and his wife live in L.A.  They weren't able to make it out to MO for the holidays. 

Audra had been particularly fussy, which was very unlike her.  Usually, she thrives in social situations!  At first, we thought it may just be the travel and unfamiliar scenery, but soon learned it was something a bit more. She woke up one morning with a fever and red cheeks, and was super clingy to anyone who held her.  So we decided to take her in to see a doctor.

Turns out, poor baby had the flu!  (Influenza A)  The nurse prac suspected that she got it from flying.  BOOO.  Nic had actually been feeling kinda crappy, too, starting a few days before she got her fever, so we're thinking he got it first then gave it to her.  So Nic had it, then Audra had it, and it wasn't long before I started feeling nasty.   ...then my mom got it, and we found out that Nic's dad got it as well!  (They were already back in TX by that time, but we know where he picked it up.)  So we had a household of sick people there for a while.  Audra and I actually delayed our flight home by a few days because neither of us were completely well enough to fly home with Nic.  He had to be back for work, so he went on home without us.  We also had to push back Audra's meeting of my extended family by a day, but she was finally feeling well enough to have people around. 

My Aunt Nancy playing with Audra.

I wish I had gotten some more pictures of all the others who were able to come (Uncle Jeff, Aunt Betty & Uncle Gary).  I think they were all pretty thrilled to finally meet her.


Whew!  Are you still with me?!?  We had a pretty eventful week in Missouri, and I'm glad I have some pictures to look back on.  It was definitely a fun time, sickness aside.  It was great to see some old friends and lots of family.  And yet there were plenty of people who I wasn't able to see... hopefully next time, my friends! 

Kinda funny how Missouri is called home for me.  Don't get me wrong, it still is, and always will be.  But now, being married and having a baby, home now feels like our house... Nic and I's home, where we live with Audra.  Only recently have I realized that my home has shifted at some point.  I'm actually not too sad about this fact, either.  I'm GLAD I've made our house feel like home to us.  :)  In all, I was happy to finally be back in MY home, my bed, and be back to our routine.  It was a great little visit, and yet it's great to be back home.

We Did It, We Did It, We Did It, Hooray!

If you'd talked to me face-to-face before our trip to Missouri, I probably let you know how nervous I was about flying with 6-month old Audra.  I was nervous about giving her bottles a lot of the day, I was nervous about nursing in public since she is a VERY distractable eater, I was nervous about a meltdown on the plane & everyone hating us, I was nervous about all the things to pack... I was just a bit of a nerve ball in general.  I prayed and prayed and PRAYED about the trip.  We flew there and we flew home, and I'm still alive and here to tell you all about it.

If you saw my Facebook update, you probably already know that the travel went WONDERFULLY.  Honestly, wonderfully is an understatement.  She could not have been an easier baby to travel with.  There were a few things I thought through ahead of time that made our trip much easier, and I figured I could save you all some thinking and research and tell you what I did. The trip we took was to visit my parents in my hometown, where I still know a lot of people I grew up with and went to school with.  Having people on the receiving end of my trip who were willing to help me out was a big key to decreasing the amount of things I had to bring with me.  I encourage you to plan ahead so you can save yourself some headaches.  So here's what I did:

Car Seats:
Most of you mommas probably already know that a crashed car seat is a done car seat; as in, you can no longer use it.  But did you know that a car seat that you check with your luggage can also be considered a crashed car seat?  Have you seen the way your luggage gets thrown around?  Imagine your car seat getting thrown around that same way.  Have you ever experienced turbulence on the air plane?  So have I.  Imagine your car seat bouncing around down below.  So, checking a car seat with luggage is, generally, no good.  If you MUST check your car seat, try this method.
A better option to checking your car seat with your luggage would be to gate check it with a big car seat bag over it.  Gate checkers know to be a little more gentle with the car seats, and you can even talk to the employees as you hand it over before you board.
But the BEST option, as far as keeping your car seat safe, would be to contact people on the receiving end of your trip and see if anyone has a car seat you can borrow while you're in town, or take your own on the plane.  I was lucky enough to have a friend whose baby had outgrown their infant seat, so we were able to borrow hers.  I sat with Audra on my lap (though I could have used a CARES seat) since that is where she feels safest and happiest.  Also, we weren't willing to shell out the extra dough for an extra seat on already expensive flights.  Lack of bringing the car seat minimized the amount of things we carried through the airport.  And that was nice.

Baby Swing:
As I've said in previous posts, Audra's been having a heckuva time sleeping these days.  At least, before the trip she was.  She seems to be better now.  (More on that another day.)  A lot of nights and nap times, the swing was the only place she'd stay asleep.  However, I didn't want to ship my swing, or check my swing, or travel with my swing in any way.  So again, I sent out a FB request to friends in Missouri, and sure enough, found someone kind enough to let me borrow theirs while we were in town.  Awesome!  It sure did get its fair share of use!

Stroller:
We decided that we just really didn't want to mess with a lot of STUFF while navigating the air ports.  We thought long and hard and decided against bringing a stroller.  I wore the Moby the whole time we traveled (I put it on before I left the house to avoid dragging it on the nasty air port floor), and I think Audra was in Heaven!  Being held or in the Moby is quite her cup of tea.  We got her out many times, like when we ate or just to let her jump around while we were waiting at the gate, but for the majority of our travel time, the Moby it was!  We figured we could also use the Moby in Missouri instead of a stroller.  Or if we really decided we wanted a stroller, we would buy a cheapo umbrella one once we got to our destination.  But we ended up not needing one.  The Moby was sufficient for the time that we were there.
The Moby seems to put a spell on her, especially when I'm walking around and she's getting that little bounce.  She falls right to sleep.  It's suffice to say that she slept a good majority of our travel time.

Waiting at the gate.

How To Not Have a Million Carry-Ons:
Well... just don't bring it on the plane!  Teehee.  Things you think you'll need... you won't.  Put it in your luggage.  The only things I could justify bringing on the plane for Audra were:  diapers, wipes, extra set of clothes (I brought 2), burp cloths, a few toys, bottles in a little bottle cooler, hand sanitizer (wet-ones travel wipes), and her birth certificate/our marriage record (which you have to have, btw, for baby's ID).  All of that fit in her diaper bag EASILY.  For myself, all I brought was my little phone holder which has a spot for my ID and money cards.  That's it.  Everything fit in her diaper bag.  Despite it being December/January, I decided against jackets since the air ports are always warm enough with all the walking we do.  Having her in the Moby also kept us both warm.  Although we could have had two carry-ons each, we both only had one.  But what if they lost our luggage, you ask?  Well, given that we had a fairly long lay-over, that was a risk we were willing to take.  If by chance they would have, then we would have just bought what we needed when we got to Missouri.  But like I said, we were willing to risk it.  Even if we'd packed an extra day's worth of clothes, we still would have had to buy things in Missouri if they lost our luggage.  So I stuck to the minimum.

To Keep Your Baby Happy on the Plane:
Nurse or give your baby a bottle on the ascent and descent to help with the pressure on their little ears.  Audra fell asleep on all four flights, and slept the entire way down on a few of them without any fuss.  On the way back home to VA, there was one flight where she was awake on the way up and she had already finished eating, so I gave her the pacifier (to continue the sucking motion).  I could feel my ears popping, and looked to her to see if she could feel it too.  She kinda stared at me like something may have been happening, but she never fussed or said a word.  I'd heard my share of horror stories about babies not being able to equalize the pressure, and that's what worried me most about the flight.  But we never had an issue.
Airplanes are chock full of white noise.  And for my baby, white noise = sleep.  We fed her on the way up so she had a nice, full tummy and not too long after, she was passed out.  We laid her head up on our shoulders (Nic did this on the flights to MO, I was alone with her on the way back), and patted her little butt and rocked her a bit and she was out like a light.  The only thing I would do differently in the future is bring some ear plugs, the foamy expandable kind.  I've never used ear plugs with her, and I don't know if they would fit in her little ears or if she'd even keep them in there... but my thought was that I would put one in her top/exposed ear after she fell asleep.  There was more than once that the captain or flight attendant talked over the loud speaker and Audra startled awake.  I think ear plugs would have really helped.  However, the speaker talked for such a short period of time that I was able to rock her and booty-pat her right back asleep.  ;)  I bet it was annoying for her to get woken up though. 

 The lady sitting next to Nic actually had the same birthday as Audra!  How cool, right?  Birthday buddies!

A Note About Security Procedures:
I wasn't sure if they'd let me, but I decided to try- and was able to wear Audra the whole way through security.  After I went under the little x-ray door, they called me over to do a test on my hands.  They ran what looked like a paper circle, about 3 inches in diameter, over my hands then put it in a little machine.  10 seconds later they said I was good to go.  I asked what exactly it did, and they said it tested for traces of explosives.  HAHA!  1) Anyone who would put explosives next to a baby would be ridiculously sick, and 2)Wow, that little paper can do that?  I also had breast milk in the little cooler that came with my pump.  I did have more than 3 oz, though I think they would have tested it if I had less than 3 oz (the allowed amount of liquid in a carry on), too.  They took the lid off the bottles and waved what looked like a little pH strip (though I'm sure it was something else) right over top of it.  They said they would be testing the fumes for explosives.  Again, crazy right?  Though I'm glad they're doing their part to keep us safe. 

So, as I walked through the airport on the way home, just Audra and I, I felt a little bit proud of myself for the lack of THINGS (i.e. hassle) I was toting around with me.  I had Audra in the Moby, so I was hands-free, and I had her diaper bag... and that was it.  Just us and one bag.  It was EASY.  I saw other parents walking around with their stroller, some with a car seat too, and what seemed like a million carry-ons, and a whole bunch of things.  I was proud of myself for my ability to make my life easier by not having to keep up with all of that.  Perhaps when she's a bit older, things will become a little more difficult and I'll be a little more like those parents I saw.  But for this age and stage, what we did was a recipe for hassle-free flying.  On the very last flight, before we hit the ground in Virginia, I couldn't help but hear Dora cheering in my head, "We did it, we did it, we did it, hooray!"

I can't wait to tell you all about our time in Missouri, but I wanted to start with how we were able to travel with ease.  I hope you all had an outstanding Christmas and a great ringing in of the new year.  I hope this year will be your best yet!  Ours is starting out that way!