Cloth Diaper Update

It seems like cloth diapers are a hot topic lately (at least in my world).  I get asked about 2-3 times a week the details of how I diaper Audra.  I wrote a post when we first started cloth diapering, and pretty much all of what I said is still true.  However, I thought it'd be good for me to update with answers to the most common questions I get, along with any other tidbits I feel like offering now that we've been doing this a while.  :)

1.  What brand do you use?
We use FuzziBunz One Size Elite. 

I recently discovered that these diapers have changed a bit since we got Audra's stash. 
1.  They used to have minky inserts, and they now use microfiber.  I've been told the microfiber is more absorbent. 
2.  They used to include replacement elastic with the purchase of a diaper.  Now, if you want replacement elastic, you have to call the company and ask for it.  They'll send it to you for free. (We haven't needed it yet, and I bet they're saving money by not giving them out when people may/may not use them). 
3.  The internal elastic no longer includes numbers for sizing.  I noticed that the numbers start to wear off after a while, and it makes sense that they wouldn't want to spend money printing them on there.  But how do you size them then, you ask?  Once you have them sized the first time (trial/error), you really don't need the numbers.  All you would do from then on is loosen it 1-2 holes as your baby grows. 
4.  They're using a different type of fleece.  When I saw it, it didn't look much different to me.  A few of our diapers have a fleece that is less prone to piling.  It looks smoother and softer, which makes for a cleaner look.  The new fleece looked like that.  The woman who ran the diapering store seemed to think it was a thinner, less absorbent fleece.  I haven't tested it, so I don't know. 

At first I wasn't sure if I liked all of these changes.  After talking them over with my husband, we decided that they aren't big enough changes to make us want to switch brands.  So, we'll be stashing up on more FuzziBunz when baby boy arrives.

2.  Why did you decide on FuzziBunz when there are many "better" brands out there?
To put it simply, those were the first I tried, and I liked them and decided to stick with them.  That's just my personality.  I find something I like and I stick with it.  I don't really enjoy the process of trying and possibly not liking something else. 
Are there other brands that I might like better?  It's quite possible.  Are other brands cuter?  Sure, other diapers come in super cute prints.  But I don't mind the solid colors I get with FB.  I honestly still find it overwhelming to look at and talk with other mamas about all the brands available.  There are TONS!  And it's exhausting to me!  I feel like you can spend a LOT of time (and money!) trying out various brands and always thinking there might be something else out there that's better.  Like I said, I'm the kind of girl who sticks with what works, and FB work for me.  I have many friends that really enjoy testing out different diapers and have lots of different types.  If that's more you, then go for it!  I just like having a lot of the same thing.  I like consistency. 


3.  Don't you find them hard to stuff?
At first, yes.  Then I found this video and tried her method (she talks about stuffing the diaper around 1:25).  It actually made it easier!  I also make sure I'm spreading my fingers as I pull my hand out of the diaper so that the insert is completely flat in the diaper & not curled under at the sides.  I don't think twice about stuffing the diapers.  It takes me a total of maybe 10 seconds, if that.

4.  Do you use them ALL the time?
We used to.  But the fact of the matter is that cloth diapers are less absorbent than disposables.  And when we're out and about, we have less time to change a diaper, which makes leakage more likely. 

This is where I differ from a lot of cloth diapering mamas.  I cloth diaper to save money and make my life easier.  I'm not a fan of making things any harder than they need to be.  We use cloth at home and at friends houses, then when we're out or going to bed, we use disposables (times when leaking is likely).  It's just easier/less stress for us.   Even after the few packages of disposables that we bought, we're still confident that we're saving money.  Disposables aren't cheap!

5.  What about the poop?  Isn't it gross? Do you put it in your washer?!?
Yes.  Poop is gross.  And only tiny traces of poop go our washer. 

When babies are breast fed, their poop is water soluble.  In other words, the only thing they're taking in is liquid; and when you throw that poopy diaper in the wash, the water easily dissolves and disintegrates the poop.  Those are the only poopy diapers we put in our washer.  When the baby starts on solids, it's another story.

When your baby starts eating solids, you've got a few options:
1.  Use a diaper sprayer and spray that poop off the diaper into the toilet (diaper sprayers use your toilet's water line and usually hang on the side of the toilet). 
2.  Use a thin liner on top of the diaper to catch the poop so it doesn't actually get absorbed into the diaper.   Then dispose of both the liner and the poop.

We use option 2.  We used to use the gDiaper liners, because we started with gDiapers and were given a ton of the liners at a shower.  They did the job, but I wasn't a fan of the way they disintegrated when they got wet.  Imagine putting water on a dryer sheet that had tiny bits of sand built into it.  That's what the gDiaper liners felt like to me.  They were rough, and when they got wet they left tiny bits of sand-like pieces on Audra's butt.  They actually irritated her skin and we ended up switching liners before we used them all.   When I was researching different liners, I came across a brilliant tip:  use Viva brand paper towels instead of an actual cloth diaper liner.  Brilliant!  They're soft.  They're strong, and best of all: you can get them almost anywhere!

So when we change Audra, it looks like this:
1.  Stuff the diaper
2.  Tear off a full-sized paper towel and fold it in half "hot dog" style (down the long side)
3.  Put the paper towel down on the diaper.  I position more toward the back than the front of the diaper so it can better catch the poo.
4.  Get the baby!
5.  Take off baby's current diaper, clean her up
6.  Put the whole clean diaper (which now has a liner) under her and secure the diaper
7.  Tuck in any paper towel or fleece liner that may be sticking out.
8.  Let the baby down to play while you do the rest
9.  Take dirty diaper & wipes to the bathroom
10.  Throw the wipes into the trash
11.  Peel the liner and its contents off of the diaper & into the toilet (don't let baby put her hands in the toilet!) ;)  There is usually a dry spot at the very back of the liner that I'm able to grab.  As I peel it off, I hold it over the toilet.  Once it's completely off, I set the diaper aside, and use my free hand to grab the liner and tear it as much down the middle as I can.  This way, you're not throwing an entire whole paper towel in the toilet.
12.  Unstuff the diaper
13.  Throw the insert & diaper into your dry bag (it's convenient to keep this in the bathroom so you're not going back and forth from toilet to dry bag to sink)
13. Wash your hands

Here's a good example of what it looks like to use FuzziBunz with a liner.  I may have Nic record me taking off a poopy diaper, putting a clean diaper on and disposing of the dirty one, but until then you can use Shawna's video.  We are actually in the process of getting a diaper sprayer, because once in a blue moon she has an extra large BM and in that case, the liner is toast & we're faced with a poop-splosion covered diaper.  Then we end up scraping it off with toilet paper &/or spraying it down with the hose... and that's not fun.  So we can see how a diaper sprayer would be helpful.  Sprayers can get expensive, but I found these directions to make your own, so that's on Nic's list of things to do.

Also- you'll learn your baby's poop schedule (hopefully).  Audra poops like clockwork.  She always goes in the morning either right after she wakes up or right after her bottle.  And it's almost always quite sizeable-- lucky me! (One day she's gonna love that I broadcasted this to the internet.)  For that reason, I just keep her in a disposable until after she goes, again because it's easier.  From then on, she's in a FuzziBunz (and yes, sometimes she'll go #2 again while wearing a FB).

If I feel like my washer is funky (which has only happened about 2 times), I just do a rinse cycle with nothing in it and pour in some bleach.  Good to go.

6.  Do you still stuff them all while you pump?
Well, no.  A) Because I no longer breast feed (that stopped when I got pregnant for various reasons), and B) because we're so efficient at stuffing the diapers at this point, we just do it right before we change her.  So when it's time to change her, we go and stuff a diaper & put on a liner, then go grab the munchkin and change her.  We don't lay her on the changing table and then stuff the diaper; you don't want to have to worry about watching the baby while you stuff the diaper.  Just stuff it really quickly beforehand, then get the baby.  It's just easier for us that way.  And also, our downstairs changing area is on top of the dryer in our laundry room, and the diapers are almost always still in the dryer lol.  When they're not in the dryer, they're neatly organized on a small counter we have in the laundry room.  It's (obviously) easier to store them where you change the baby.

7.  How often do you wash them? And how do you wash them?
We've got 15 diapers and I wash them either every other day or every 3 days.  I hate thinking about the bacteria pool that accumulates with time.   

I used to think washing them was hard.  I was reading and re-reading directions SO diligently, afraid that I'd mess them up and ruin them.  The fact of the matter is, that's pretty hard to do, unless you just blatantly disregard any instruction regarding scents, detergents and creams.  To put it simply, here is our wash routine (my husband even has it memorized & he washes them way less than I do!):

1.  Rinse- this includes your dry bag

• use either cool or warm water- it really doesn't matter 
• you can do the 'ultra clean' and let them soak or do the 'normal' cycle- it really doesn't matter (I like to let them soak, I feel like it gets the junk out better)

2.  Wash- this should NOT include your dry bag, so take it out

• use the hottest water your washer offers
• we use about 1/4 cap of Arm & Hammer Free & Clear that includes OxyClean
• steer clear of fragrances & do some research to find out what detergents are safe for cloth diapering.  You can find charts all over the place.  This one is pretty comprehensive. 
  
  TIP: Go easy on the detergent.  The more you use, the harder it is for your washer to get it all out.  Using too much will result in buildup, which will make your diapers start to smell and less absorbent.

3.  Rinse

• use warm water this time

4.  Dry

• use your coolest dryer setting or hang them outside
• Hanging them outside will keep your whites whiter

So rinse, wash, rinse.  That's it.  Rinse, wash, rinse.  At least twice a week: rinse, wash, rinse. 
Are there other washing routines?  Of course.  You can find lots of ways to wash them (just like people wash their clothes many different ways.  But they all work.).  In fact, all the FuzziBunz website tells me to do is just the rinse and then wash.  But I do an extra rinse because I want to be sure any tiny bits of poop have absolutely made their way out of there... and to make sure all detergent has made its way out.

8.  Any other tips?
Stripping the diapers:
There have been times when I felt like the diapers weren't holding as much as they used to, i.e. becoming less absorbent.  This usually happens due to too much detergent.  And I have forever been guilty of that, even when laundering my clothes.  I try to be really careful with the diapers, but it happens.  Detergent build-up is SUPER common.  It can cause them to be smelly, even after a rinse, wash, rinse and will cause them to hold less waste.  If/when this happens, I strip the diapers.  Sounds scary, but it isn't.  All I do to strip the diapers is this:
1.  Do the normal rinse, wash, rinse.
2.  Instead of drying them, do the 'wash' cycle again but instead of using detergent, use about 4 scoops of OxyClean.  **This is why I use Arm & Hammer Free & Clear with the OxyClean already in it.  I find myself stripping them way less often, since they get a very mild stripping each time I wash them.
3.  Do 1 more rinse just to make sure no OxyClean is stuck in there (not sure if it's necessary, but I always do). 

Diaper creams:
You can't use the typical "creamy" (white) creams when you cloth diaper.  These white creams leave a layer on the diapers that causes them to repel the waste (the same way it repels the waste from your baby's bottom).  If you do use one of these while you're using a cloth diaper, you'll have to strip the diaper (probably a few times) to get it all off.  If you don't strip the diaper, it will repel the waste instead of holding it. So you'll need to find a cloth diaper friendly option.  There are tons.  We use Angel Baby Bottom Balm.  We bought a 2 ounce jar in September and it just ran out in June. We didn't need to use it every time, but we did use it pretty often.  It smells amazing and does a great job.

Laundering your other clothes:
Wash:
I like my clothes to smell good.  I like detergents with fragrance, though I know I'd read not to use them because it would leave residue in your washer & effect your diapers absorbency.  I use them anyway.  And before I wash the diapers?  I do a rinse cycle with nothing in it, except maybe some OxyClean or my cloth diaper detergent to "clean" the walls of the washer. 
Dry:
You aren't supposed to use dryer sheets b/c they can create residue on your dryer walls, which can rub off onto diapers and make them less absorbent.  Unlike the washer, there's no easy way to get this residue off unless you want to get in there and wipe it down.  ...no thanks.  But we, particularly Nic, despise our clothes having static.  His scrubs and workout shirts are especially prone to static.  Instead of dryer sheets, wad up some aluminum foil and toss it in to prevent static.  It'll only work for about 2 loads, then you have to throw that one away and make a new one.  Our ball is usually about the size of a baseball.  You don't have to wad it tight.  Just a light crunch together will do.  Problem solved!

Google.
Google has become my best friend, in general, since becoming pregnant with Audra.  But especially when it's come to cloth diapering.  Information can be overwhelming... try not to let it get that way.  If you have a friend who already does this, ask them about it!  Or ask ME about it!  I'd be glad to help!  Stealing other people's routines and tricks has been what's helped me the most.


I hope this could be of help to some of you!  I know a LOT of you out there are thinking about doing this.  And a lot of you say you admire me for taking the time and energy to do this.  But friends, I really want you to know- it's not hard!  Seriously!  Like most new things, it takes some getting used to.  But once you get the feel for it, it's a piece of cake.  :)

Good luck to you!  & thanks for reading!

P.S.- More about baby boy on the next post!  :)

ONE YEAR.

It still seems surreal to me.  An entire year has gone by since I gave birth to our sweet girl in San Antonio.  Hard to believe that this time last year, we were still in the hospital; Nic was almost finished with his Nurse Transition Program, and we were preparing to make the drive back to Lubbock.  Since then, we've moved across the country, made new friends, Nic started a new job, we joined a new church and small group, and have gotten pregnant again.  My, what a year. 

The thing that's most surreal about it is how far Audra has come.  The cliche "they grow up so fast" definitely rings true.  She's really not much of a baby anymore.  She's a toddler.  She's walking, and doing things on her own.  Of course, she needs my help with nearly everything; but not like she did when she was first born.  When Nic and I sang "Happy Birthday" I felt a little tear-y just thinking about how she'll never be the tiny little girl we brought home again... from here on, she only gets bigger.  Of course, I know that's a good thing, it's all just happened so fast.

All about our newly-one-year-old-Audra:
Motor Development: 
She's walking, pretty much like a pro.  She can cross the entire length of the house, and definitely gets to where she's going.  She walks a lot more than she crawls.  Crawling is still faster, though, so if she's on a mission she'll resort to crawling.  

Talking:
She can say:  mama, dada, hi, bye-bye, nigh-nigh (night-night), bobble (bottle), and whoa.  The funniest of these is "whoa."  Her timing with it is perfect.  Just a few minutes ago, she vigorously shook the bag that holds all of her plastic Easter eggs (still a favorite toy despite it not being Easter anymore), and all the eggs went flying everywhere.  She looked around and said, "Whoa."  On her birthday, she was being crazy and shaking her head back and forth really fast (can you say too much sugar?).  She lost her balance and fell backwards then immediately rolled to her stomach and said, "Whoa."  She's quite the crack-up.  I don't know where she got "whoa," since I don't think I say it too often, but maybe I'm wrong. 

Favorite "toys":  Of course, most of her favorite things to play with are non-toys (which is why we don't buy all too many of them ourselves).

• Her very most favorite thing to play with is the dishwasher.  She loves to splash around in the wetness that falls out of clean dishes.  She will also take out most of what she can reach while we're loading the dishwasher... which is why we now load it while she's sleeping or eating, or super distracted.  (Though as soon as she hears us doing dishes, she races over to the kitchen haha.)  
• Her next favorite thing to play with is probably any paper product, most specifically toilet paper.  It really sucks if we accidentally leave the bathroom door open haha.  
• After that I would say she loves things with buttons; especially any remote or phone she can get a hold of. 
• Of her toys, she will sometimes play with the little blocks we got her for her birthday.  She enjoys putting them in and taking them out of the bucket.  (She generally enjoys putting anything in and taking anything out of a space.)  
• As mentioned above, she still likes to play with her Easter eggs.  
• She has figured out how to gracefully get out of her little kid armchair that her Lolli (Nic's mom) got her.  She used to just throw herself out of it, which was funny to watch.  Now she knows how to get both feet on the ground and stand up.  So lately, she's been doing that over and over.  
• She often opens her books and will "read" them.  This is super cute to watch. 
  
  It's been a lot of fun to watch her learn through play. 

Eating:
She is trying nearly everything we eat, not always liking everything at first.  We rarely feed her pureed food anymore.  She's good at feeding herself finger foods, and is getting decent as using a spoon when we're in a mood to let her get messy.  She's not a huge fan of vegetables unless they're seasoned in some way, and I don't blame her.  ;)

Temperment:
She's a pretty easy-going baby.  She wakes up happy, and will stay happy throughout the day if all of her needs are met within a reasonable amount of time.  She really enjoys getting out of the house and being around people.  She's most in her element when she's interacting with others.

Sleep:
She takes one nap a day around 11 or 12, and sleeps for 1.5-2 hours.  She goes to bed between 7 and 8 and sleeps about 11 hours straight.  We've found a correlation between amount of calories consumed in a day and the time she wakes up in the morning.  The more we feed her, the later she sleeps.  She's usually awake by 6:15 or 6:30; 7:00 or 7:30 if she ate a lot the day before.
  
One whole year of getting to know this girl.  I couldn't dream up a more perfect child for us if I tried.

A Damper on Plans

'

Well...  I guess we won't be camping.  It was already going to be an undertaking of its own just going with a 1 year old for the first time and figuring out all those logistics.  But add in being 3 hours away and tropical storm Andrea set to hit Friday, and it could be a royal recipe for disaster.  So we're going to stay dry at home and try again another weekend.  Maybe somewhere closer to home, for the first time.  And after she's walking like a real champ.  (Right now she can cross rooms, but if she REALLY wants to get somewhere, crawling's still her go-to.)

So, there we go.  Andrea put a bit of a damper on our plans (literally).  But the weekend's not a total bust, since a good friend of ours is having a birthday and now we'll be able to make the festivities!  :)  I hope all of you out there are staying safe and dry! 

XOXO,

Stefanie

Lots Happening!

Well hello again!  Finally!  It's been just a *little while* since I've updated.  Sorry about that.  There's been a lot happening around here!  Getting pregnant!  Audra's birthday (in less than a WEEK!)!  Preparing to camp with an almost 1 year old!  Aye yai yai!! 

So here's the 4-1-1.

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By now, most of you probably know that we're expecting again!  Do you know what happens during the first trimester of pregnancy?  That's right: your body builds a whole ORGAN (the placenta).  Along with that comes being very very tired.  Instead of writing on this little blog, I've been lounging on the couch, not doing housework, and letting Audra play.  Granted, not a whole lot of rest is happening when you're caring for a baby at the same time.  But in general, I haven't had the energy to put forth toward other things.  But now?  Now we're at 15 weeks and I'm feeling like a new person!  I even swept, steamed & vacuumed the floors yesterday!  And dusted!  And did laundry!  It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life!  And I'm feeeeeelin' good!!! 
I've been getting a lot of questions about this pregnancy, so let me answer some for you, in case you're wondering too.  ;)
 
Were you trying to get pregnant? 
Not exactly.  We weren't exactly preventing it, either, if you know what I mean.  We always knew we wanted our kids close in age, so we were under the "if it happens, it happens" umbrella.  It happened sooner than we thought it would... so here we go. 

Were you surprised?
I'd read that breastfeeding can make it harder to get pregnant.  Considering I hadn't had a period yet, I was a bit surprised that I was pregnant.  But it makes sense that we got pregnant very shortly after switching to solids, when I was breastfeeding a little bit less than before.  Apparently the fact that I never had a period and got pregnant while breastfeeding means I'm a little "extra fertile."  Well. Good to know.

Since you already have a girl, are you hoping for a boy?
Nic is definitely hoping for a boy!  Of course.  I think it would be fun for Audra to have a sister so close in age.  Also, we (obviously) already have all of the girl things we would need, so re-using could save us some $.  I'm pretty sure Nic is terrified of having another girl.  He just keeps thinking about when they're both teenagers, and then possibly paying for two weddings around the same time further down the road.  He's said repeatedly that if we have another girl, trying for a third will take some convincing.  He DEFINITELY does not want THREE girls!  I'm pretty sure he'll take what he gets (but he might throw a fit!).  (That was for my teacher friends.)      

When are you due?
I've gotten three different due dates:  Nov. 27, Nov. 30 & Dec. 1.  My OB is going by the earliest one since apparently there are certain procedures that can't be done until the 39th week, even if medically necessary.  (My OB spent like 5 minutes explaining this to me, though all I really remember is what I just said.)  So taking the earlier date would allow those procedures to get done if we need them without waiting longer.  They aren't hard and fast about an induction at 41 weeks, especially since my due date has been so variable.  We already said we'd just keep an eye on things at the end and just see how everything looks before scheduling an induction- if this baby goes over like Audra did.

Are you delivering on base?
We opted to downgrade our insurance so I can see a civilian provider instead of a military provider.  I'll be delivering at one of the local hospitals, with a civilian OB.  There were multiple reasons for this choice, the big ones being the availability of the OB and personalized care. 

Are you going to try to deliver naturally this time?
A lot of you know that I wanted to deliver Audra naturally, but due to the crazy nurse and basically... FORGETTING EVERYTHING I WAS TAUGHT about delivering naturally, I ended up getting the epidural.  I still haven't decided what I want to do this time around.  Part of me really longs for that beautiful, natural birth I so badly wanted the first time.  Another part of me still remembers the pain of contractions (after all, it WAS just less than a year ago), and wants to just take the easy route and get the epidural.  We'll see.  I'll keep ya posted.
 
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Audra turns one on MONDAY!  JUNE 10th!  It's so hard to believe that my beautiful tiny little floppy baby is now walking, climbing up on stuff (the dishwasher!  her push toy!  tsk, tsk, tsk.), destroying things (the toilet paper roll and anything paper, amongst others), identifying body parts, talking, and demanding my attention.  It's amazing how far she's come!  We're going to take some pictures of her eating a (not too) sugary treat for the first time on her actual birthday and celebrate just us, as a little family.  A few weeks later we'll have a few of her little friends that she sees often & their families over for a bigger celebration.  I'm thinking of a simple theme like 'girly colored polka dots.' Keep it simple.  Nothing huge or overwhelming for this baby.  Just us, a few good friends, some cake, and a few gifts.  Just a fun day celebrating our little one year old.  :)

 

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This coming weekend, Nic's unit at the hospital is having a family camping trip in the Shenandoah Valley.  We both love camping, but are a bit hesitant to go with Audra.  She is a baby who is used to her routine, especially her nighttime routine.  She just doesn't go down easily when getting put to bed somewhere other than home.  Nor does she sleep very soundly at night while away.  Usually, she'll sleep from about 7pm-6:30am without waking up.  Or at least if she does wake up, she doesn't tell us about it.  ;)  When we're traveling, she often wakes up multiple times in the night, I think because of the unfamiliarity of everything. So that could make for some tiresome days while camping.  Despite those things, we're still going to go.  They're planning on going down Friday and coming back Sunday.  We'll pack like we're staying the whole time but have already decided to not make it too hard on ourselves.  If we feel like it's getting to be miserable instead of the fun that it should be, we'll just go home.  It'll be an adventure, either way.  I'll let you all know how it goes, and anything we did that made it easier.  Or maybe what we should have done to make it easier.  ;)

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All of that aside, things are going beautifully around here!  It's summer and the sun is shining and we've been spending a lot of time outdoors.  Last summer, Audra was just too little and demanding of our time and energy for us to get out and explore much.  She HATED the beach when we tried to take her, and in general things were just too new and crazy for us to get out a whole lot.  This summer, we've already been to the beach, the neighborhood pool, walking on trails, getting custard... (and that was all in one weekend!)  And we plan on doing more of the same, more often.  I'm still relishing in the fact that we can even go to a beach any time we want!  And it only takes 10 minutes to get there!  Nic and I have a goal of doing SOMETHING each day that he's not working.  As in, not just sitting around the house and going to CrossFit.  Like, actually going to a park or a beach or hitting the pool or hiking or paddleboating... the possibilities here are great so we're really just looking forward to doing them now that the weather's nice. 

I hope this has found you happy and well and hopefully getting some nice weather, too! 
Happy summer!








Shenandoah Valley picture found here.

8 months & Lots of Firsts!

Well, I didn't get that extended vacation I so badly wanted last post, but I DID get some much needed girl time, have a birthday, and had my husband home for 3 whole nights in a row- which meant more sleep.  All of those did this girl some good.  I feel happier and a little more refreshed.  And I feel like I'm in a much better place in mommyhood.  Thanks for letting me vent and then being nice enough to still come back.  :)

This past month has been quite an exciting one for Audra!  She's experienced so many firsts... no wonder she was sleeping so badly before! 

First time eating solid food:

We started with apples (not knowing that I was supposed to start w/ veggies... oops), and she loved them!  Then we moved on to peas, squash-yellow, prunes (necessary!), green beans, pear, avocado, sweet potato, carrot, squash-butternut, egg yolk, and banana.  I didn't really go in any particular order (other than following recommended food guides); we mostly just gave her what we already had on hand so minimize runs to the grocery store.  We make our own food, and I have to say... I get a strange enjoyment out of it.  I love making it and she loves eating it. While I do believe it's a money saver, the cost isn't really the reason we do it.  I just like knowing EXACTLY what she's eating.  And I like her getting the freshest food possible.  And I like being able to puree it as thin or thick as I want.  There are a lot of perks and it's just too easy NOT to do.  I can do a whole post on how we make it, if anyone's interested.  But if you don't tell me that you want to know, I'm not going to take the time to post it.  ;) Heehee.

Along with the solids has come a lot more weight on this baby girl.  And also, more sleep!  She generally sleeps from 7p to anywhere between 5:30-7:30a.  If she doesn't wake up at all in the night, she'll get up around 5:30.  If she gets up for a night feed and goes back down, she'll sleep 'til around 7:30.  I would gladly trade a night feed for sleeping in!  I just wish she felt the same.  :)

Other firsts:
Pulling herself to standing:

Very shortly after that, she started walking the length of her crib while holding on.  Didn't get that one on video though.

Crawling:

 This one was a long time coming!  She'd been on all fours since well before Christmas.  We were CERTAIN she'd start crawling while we were in Missouri.  But then she got sick, and she was held a lot.  So that didn't happen.  She was up on all fours and going backwards a lot.  Then she was up on all fours and crawling just one to three "steps", then she'd collapse onto the floor.  She'd do that over and over.  Just this week, she started connecting it all and going great distances without falling down.  AND NOW?  She's going anywhere, and getting into EVERYTHING!  Haha!  Time to baby-proof this place, for sure!  Things she never seemed interested in before are now things for little baby hands to explore.  It's funny how she sat right next to things (like a bookshelf) many times in the past, and now all of a sudden it's so interesting!  She's starting to keep me on my toes, guys.  :)

Talking:
 It started with "mama" in beginning/mid January and then about 3 weeks later, both Nic and I swore she repeated "bye bye."  And the very next day, she said "dada."  Now we can catch her saying all 3.  Though mama is still the most likely to repeated on demand.

Other fun non-milestone firsts that happened this past month:
-first time swinging in a big girl swing (well, toddler swing)

-first time riding in the stroller without her infant seat on top

-first time sitting in the wooden high chair in a restaurant

-first time riding in the grocery cart sitting space

-first time trying (very watered down) juice [no picture]
-first time sleeping without a swaddle (mentioned last post)
-first time eating outside

And I think that's it!  It's been so much fun to watch her face each time she does something new.  I love that she looks to me with excitement and is able to see that I'm sharing in it with her.  I can't get enough of this sweet, sweet girl.

Oh!  And Happy Valentine's Day!  ♥

Me, The Mom.

I am attempting to keep this blog a positive place.  It's a place that has recently become all about Audra.  I LOVE talking about Audra, mainly because I LOVE to be helpful to a lot of you reading.  I know some of my favorite blogs are those where fellow mamas talk about their experiences, favorite products, and life in general with babies.  They're helpful, and they prevent me from having to do a ton of research, especially if I feel that I identify with them and can trust their opinions.

But I think it's important to be honest, too.  It's not fair to show you only the pretty side of things and make you think that's how it always is.  I'm talking about how it's all about Audra.  Not just my blog, now.  MY LIFE.  Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE MY BABY MORE THAN I EVEN KNOW HOW TO PUT INTO WORDS.  I would give my life for her!  I can go on listing other ways to affirm to you how much I love her, but let's just call it good.  I LOVE HER.  There's no truer statement.  But it gets overwhelming.  It's such a place of limbo to be in; one that is implied a lot of time, but one that people also choose not to talk about a lot of time.  I think it's because people, like this blog, mostly choose to focus on the positive.  Because there is SO MUCH positive to focus on!  A beautiful, gorgeous baby.  Learning new things.  Smiling.  Kissing.  Hugging.  Babbling.  Laughing.  Loving me.  But also.  BUT ALSO... crying.  Clawing at my face.  Refusing to let me take a whole shower in peace.  Whining when I try to pump.  Waking me multiple times a night.  Starting the morning with more crying.  Refusing to eat the food I spent time making.  And generally taking up every single minute of my time.  Even when she's sleeping, she's taking up my time.  I'm thinking of her.  Educating myself on things for her.  Buying things online for her.  Writing this blog about her.

So I find myself in this limbo.  On one side:  loving this new life with our baby- both the good and the bad that come with it.  And on the other:  feeling selfish and wanting to hand her over to my or my husband's parents and just jet off to a sunny warm island and lay on the beach, drinking piña coladas and "forgetting" my baby.  For just a little while.  I say "forgetting" because I know that the second I hit that beach, I'll be wondering what Audra's up to and how she's doing, whether she's happy and sleeping well and eating her food, etc.  I'm feeling like my brain is never going to rest again.  And that's probably just the reality of it.  But guys?  My brain is TIRED.  My BODY is tired.  My holding-shiz-together-ness is feeling like it wants to quit.  Not forever!  Just for a little while.  I need a break.  I mean more than an afternoon.  More than even a day, probably.  And it can't happen here, at the house, because then I'd just end up cleaning or something, because my OCD self can't fully relax until there's nothing else to do. 

Recently, Nic and I finally got to have a candid, honest conversation, and I ended in tears just telling him how tired I am.  And how I don't feel like myself anymore.  I used to be an adult.  One who enjoyed good food and sitting on patios and Happy Hour with friends.  One who saw movies in the theater kind of frequently and went shopping for clothes that are in season.  And now?  Now I feel a little trapped.  Trapped because of breastfeeding (can't leave her with anyone for any extended length of time), trapped because of very delicate nap time hours (as I talked about last post ), trapped because of the amount of work that has fallen on my shoulders because of her, but at the same time less time to do it because of her.  That's not to say this is ALWAYS how I feel.  I think it's just been a very very long time since I've gotten to be... well... ME.   Right now I feel like me, the mom.  And then sometimes (if I don't fall asleep first), I'm me, the wife.  And very very rarely do I get to be me, the adult in an adult world.  Something's gotta give.  There's got to be some way for me to recharge this mom battery of mine.  I do know that this feeling goes away almost as quickly as it comes, but the fact of the matter is that this feeling still exists.  And from what I'm reading around the web, it exists in a lot moms.    

I HATE admitting this.  I HATE the fact that this is sounding like complaining.  Complaining is not how I intend this to sound.  I mean it to be an honest look at the feelings of a stay-at-home-mom (perhaps ANY mom), from time to time.

It's important for me to stress how much I LOVE MY BABY.  I wouldn't trade motherhood for a lifetime on warm, sandy beaches.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  There are infinitely more good days than bad; more happy moments than stressful moments; more JOY and LOVE than anything else I can think of. 

Sometimes a mom just needs an extended break to be... well... free from being a mom. 

Our Solutions to Sleep!

For you to understand how great it is for us to be where we are now, it's helpful for you to know where we came from.  

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It's no secret that we'd been having some nighttime sleep issues with 7.5-month-old Audra.  Her sleep timeline has looked something like this:
 
Birth -1.5 months:  [Swaddled with white noise]
I woke a very very sleepy tiny baby to feed her every 3 hours.  She was falling asleep every minute and a half or 2 minutes while eating.  Since I was barely keeping my eyes open as well, I decided to quit waking her. 

1.5 months - 4 months:  [Swaddled with white noise]
She slept completely through the night, 7:30pm-7:30am with zero wakings.  It was AWESOME! During this time, people told us that she would eventually stop sleeping through the night, and Nic and I just chuckled and didn't quite believe it.  Ha!!!

4 months - 7 months:  [Swaddled with white noise]
HELL.  (Just kidding.)  But I did feel like a walking zombie.  She was waking up multiple times a night.  It started gradually, with one, then two, then three wakings, then I talked with her doctor and accidentally traumatized her, which only resulted in her not wanting to be put down EVER and not wanting to go to sleep EVER.  When we got to Missouri for Christmas, the change of nighttime scenery seemed to do her some good, and she didn't mind being put down anymore.  She still, however, woke multiple times a night.  She rarely slept more than 3 hours at a time.  We started utilizing the pacifier more (she wouldn't keep it in before, but seemed to have gotten the hang of it with age), which calmed her a bit.  About a fourth of the time, we were able to give her the pacifier and pat her back to sleep without picking her up.  I fed her when she could not be soothed.  We came home from Missouri, and it was more of the same and then worse:  waking every 3 or less hours, needing to eat multiple times during the night.  And she also decided to stay awake for hours at a time, usually between 1:30 & 3:30 am.  It was pure torture.  I rocked her and laid her down just fine, but then she would wake right up.  Or I'd pat her to sleep (finally!) in her crib, then I'd lay down in bed and 10 minutes later she'd be up.  I don't know of many mid-night feelings that are worse than leaning over your baby's crib patting them in a half-asleep, zombie-like stupor just praying and praying AND PRAYING to God that He'll just give your baby a nice long peaceful sleep.  Then finally, she would fall asleep (or so I thought, since she hadn't moved in what seemed like forever!).  But like I said, 10 minutes later, she'd be awake. I mean AWAKE; alert, talking to me, smiling at me, as if that 30+ minutes we just spent putting her to sleep never happened.  Sigh.  Something had to give.

For the last two weeks: [Unswaddled with white noise]
Sleeping through the night, 7:30pm-7:30am with one or no night feedings; occasionally (about once or twice a night) we go in and comfort her, but only for about a minute (literally; until she settles), then we're back in bed ourselves. So many nights, I only wake up ONCE, for 5 MINUTES and then I'm back in bed.  This post is about how we got from that hell above to this point.

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There were multiple things we wanted to implement, and we were just waiting until after the Missouri trip to put them in place.  We wanted to 1) get rid of the swaddle, 2) start on solid foods, 3) change her daytime nap schedule, and 4) start sleep training so she'd put herself to sleep.  We pretty much started them all simultaneously, so it's hard to say if any ONE thing made her sleep like she's sleeping now.  It was most likely a combination of all of these.  So here's how we did it.

GETTING RID OF THE SWADDLE:
We've always followed The Happiest Baby on the Block's advice, and IT WORKED.  Dr. Karp says most babies have grown out of the startle reflex by around 6 months, and no longer need the swaddle.  Plus, Audra had been fighting the swaddle for a while, and we couldn't keep pinning her arms down forever.  Dr. Karp suggests starting by leaving one arm out of the swaddle, and when the baby does well with that, to leave both arms out and then do away with the swaddle all together.  So we tried it.  We left one arm out... and it went horribly.  She wouldn't sleep.  But that wasn't really anything different than before.  So we decided to just try it cold turkey, and we put her in a sleep sack which allowed her arms to be free.  And again, it went horribly.  Not only was she not sleeping, she was getting distracted by her hands.  So hear me here:  the issue was not the startle reflex, or her needing the pressure around her body to feel safe.  The issue was HER HANDS.  Girl was (is) in exploration mode at all hours of the day, apparently even at night.  When we laid her in her crib, no matter how drowsy or already asleep she was, when her little hands hit that crib, she started feeling.  Her hand would spread out like a fan and draw in to a fist over and over, just touching her sheet.  She would shoot her arm straight out to the side and feel her crib bumper.  She would stretch her arm above her head and swing it down to her side like she was making half a snow angel in her crib.  Up and down, up and down her arm would go, her little hand just feeling everything along the way.  I would hold her arm still and pat her until she seemed to be asleep.  When I finally let go (holding my breath usually), it started all over.  Sigh.  I was exhausted.    

A friend told me about a thing call a Zipadee Zip that she used with her girls.  Sounded interesting.  At that point, I was willing to try ANYTHING!  She was nice enough to let me borrow her Zipadee Zip... and SUCCESS!  Audra kept her hands still, and slept without the swaddle!  I fully believe it was due to the Zipadee Zip's design that allowed her to settle.  Audra seemed really happy with the ability to move, and her little hands were contained so her brain could turn off.  Of course, I had to get one for myself!  This gives Audra so much room to move around, plus ensures that her little hands and feet stay warm, that I don't care if she sleeps in this thing until she outgrows their largest size.  She truly quit squirming around (fighting the swaddle) once we got her in the Zippy.  Awesome.  Being still is good.  If you're looking to start unswaddling, I definitely recommend you look into the Zipadee Zip.  I was in correspondence with the owner/operator, and she always emailed me back the very same day.  Extremely nice and helpful!  Always a pleasure to do business with those who know how to treat their customers.  :)   

STARTING ON SOLIDS:
One mom said that her little guy didn't sleep through the night until they started on solids.  Given the fact that Audra was wanting to eat so often in the night, I thought some extra calories during the day couldn't hurt.  Plus, she's over 6 months anyway, it's TIME to start eating!  So we gave her some solid (well, pureed) food.  And not just a little.  Once we knew she wasn't allergic, we LOADED HER UP!  She eats 9 oz. a day (3 oz., 3x), and doesn't always act full when she's finished.  That's in addition to me breast feeding her 5 times a day.  We've found if we're unable to feed her one of those 3 times, she'll wake up during the night asking for food.  If she does get all 3 meals, she usually sleeps through the night without needing to eat. YAY!!

 

CHANGING HER DAYTIME NAP SCHEDULE:
I've always followed Audra's lead and let her set her schedule.  When she acted sleepy, she went down for a nap.  When she woke up, she ate.  After that, she played.  If we needed to go out and she fell asleep, then she fell asleep in her carseat.  She had gotten herself into a schedule of basically napping around 9:30, noon, 2:30 and then down for the night at 6:30.  Some sweet Facebook mama friends cued me in to the fact that Audra was probably sleeping too much during the day (resulting in that long stretch around 1:30 of being awake during the night).  The No Cry Sleep Solution also said that babies around 6 months should only need 2 naps a day, about an hour each.  I decided to start limiting her naps.  Now, regardless of when she wakes up, I put her down around 10 or 10:30, then again around 2 or 2:30, then down for the night around 7:30.  And now?  We have no more long stretches of being awake at night!  She definitely acts sleepy during the day before her nap, but she's able to hang in there until naptime without much fuss.
 
SLEEP TRAINING:
Our old nighttime habit was for me to nurse her to sleep, then lay her in bed very VERY ninja-like, so she wouldn't notice we were setting her down.  When she woke up in the night, Nic or I would pick her up and rock her, or feed & rock her, again until she fell asleep.  This obviously was a strain on our sleep, having to take the time to put her back down.  Plus, we were setting her up for bad habits by not teaching her how and what it feels like to fall asleep in her bed.  
 NOW, we feed her then put her in her crib with her pacifier, and pat her for 30 seconds to a minute.   Then we use a 4-3-2-1 sleep training method.  I had read about the method some random place, and I really liked the sound of it.  So we use this in our own modified version.  Our version goes like this: 4 minutes of leaving Audra alone, followed by 30 seconds of comfort if she needs it [patting, rubbing back, etc.], 3 minutes of leaving her alone, 30 seconds of comfort, 2 minutes of alone, 30 seconds of comfort, 1 minute alone.  Almost always, she puts herself to sleep within the first 4 minutes.  Every now and then we have to go in and pat her for the first 30 seconds, but we've never had to go back in for comforting a second time.  She's learned to calm down and go to sleep.  We can tell if it's just not working, as in she's escalating her fusses rather than de-escalating.  Our goal isn't total Cry It Out and just sitting there when our baby is really upset.  Our goal is to let her know that she can fall asleep in her crib.  She also needs to know that a little fussing isn't going to result in us picking her up and rocking her for 15 minutes.  We don't want her to be scared, either; we want her to know we're there for her.  We just want her to feel comfortable in her bed, and be able to put herself to sleep. So if she's escalated to the point that she's not going to calm down on her own, we go in and pick her up and rock her until she's calm again.  But most often, she just fusses a little then goes to sleep.  During night wakings, we do the same thing:  wait 4 minutes from when she wakes up and starts making noise before we go in and comfort her for just 30 seconds or a minute.  Usually, like at bedtime, she'll put herself to sleep within those 4 minutes and we never even have to get up.  It has been a beautiful, beautiful thing.  :) 

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So we've all been getting a little more sleep around here.  And Audra's been waking up with the BIGGEST smiles on her face!  It's been pretty funny, actually.  Nic and I will be talking, and she'll just be staring at us, smiling SO BIG, even though we weren't paying particular attention to her.  A happy, well-rested baby means a happy, well-rested Mommy.  I feel like the clouds have parted and the sun is shining through and things will only get better from here.

(My luck, I will have totally jinxed myself by writing this post.  We'll see.)  ;-)